So of course there have been plenty of things that I have loved and hated in Jordan. In the end, I'm pretty sure I will miss it all. It has all become a part of the amazing experience that has been Jordan.


So the things that have driven me nuts here:
-Having to live with a maid
-Having to put up with taxi drivers that pick their nose, pass gas, hit on you, drive too fast, and do everything humanely possible to make you despise them (with the occasional exception)
-Not being able to wear shorts in 80 degree weather
-Having to bring my own toilet paper to the bathroom----not that I ever want to use the bathrooms here---90% of the time the public bathrooms are absolutely DISGUSTING
-Having guys turn into creeps the moment they find out you're American
-Trying to avoid walking in all the sheep/goat poo on the side of the roads and the poor excuses of sidewalks---oh yes, the sidewalks---one would think that sidewalks are meant for WALKING on and should be relatively uniform, a naive perception that Jordan cured me of. There is no written rule here that sidewalks should be flat, provide walking space, and for some reason it is perfectly normal to place a tree/pole/SOMETHING in the middle of the sidewalk that makes it impossible to stay on the sidewalk
-CRAZY DRIVERS!!! NEVER complain again about bad drivers in the states----prepare for an adrenaline rush every time you set foot in a car here
-Having things LOST in translation! Soooooo many misunderstandings!
-Every place is fair game for smoking-----if there is a no smoking sign, rest assured that a group of greasy haired guys will be standing underneath it with cancer sticks hanging from their mouths

There are a lot more but a small taste should be sufficient enough----its more about all the things I love about here:
-Everywhere you go people offer you tea or coffee or both. Its a common tradition of hospitality that no matter how many times I encounter still seems so incredibly generous to me.
-Constantly hearing "Ahlan wa Sahlan"---Welcome! Whether its from my hosts greeting me or a random, dusty storekeeper
-Waking up at 4 in the morning to the call to prayer (the call to prayer sounds 5 times a day). It is a wonderful thing to constantly be reminded that God is Great. I am going to miss this beyond belief
-Having people randomly come up to you and want to be your friend or speak English/Arabic with you---simply because you're American
-Seeing random shirts that say sometimes rather horrific things in English which the wearer has no clue about the real meaning----you would be surprised to see some of the shirts here (including ones with huge marijuana leaves on them)
-My Arab friends who never fail to amaze me with the level of understanding and kindness that they have shown me
-How passionate someone gets when they tell you they are Palestinian
-Eating fresh hummus---actually, just eating food here in general
-Seeing old men sitting in chairs drinking tea and talking
-How CLOSE Jordan is to everything! Depending on where you are in Amman and how clear the sky is you can sometimes see the lights of Jerusalem
-Being asked what my religion is. Its actually kind of nice how important religion is here. Its definitely a change from back home.
-Listening to the news and understanding words such as "Al-umam Al-mutaheda" or "Fi haqeeaqah" (United Nations and In Reality)
-Hearing Celion Dion WHEREVER I go----I never thought I would hear the titanic theme song so many times in just four months
-Looking out my window and seeing a mall, lamborghini dealership, and a shepherd leading his flock across the road
-FRESH FRUITS/VEGGIES from the Jordan Valley! I'm going to mourn for my beloved Jordanian oranges. SOOO GOOOD!
- Getting asked if I'm Arab. I take that as a huge compliment. I finally have to just tell them I'm Spanish so that they stop pestering me :) They don't understand that I'm a typical American mutt. Haha


Once again, I could go on and on and on and on and on and maybe later I will. But for now, I should head to bed with these tender thoughts of Jordan fresh in my mind.
I know I will miss it all. The good, the bad, the annoying, the frusterating, the exhilirating, the enlightening, everything. I love it all.

It has been far too long since I posted something, and for that I apologize. Too many great things have happened and I feel like it is my duty to record it----yet I haven't. Some things will just have to exist in my memory just like they did in olden times :D (Ok...I have plenty of pictures to help me!)

I have a WEEK left! Can you believe it?! A week. Where did the last four months go? It seems unreal how fast this went by. I knew this would happen, yet once again it never fails to catch me by surprise.

So here's to a cliche journal entry about how Jordan changed me.....


So many people say this, and for good reason. Study abroad is meant to change you. It is meant to give you a different perspective on life. It is meant to help you see the world from the eyes of one of its many inhabitants.
Jordan has worked magic on my life.
Up until now I felt like I as searching for something. I was never fully satisfied. I love my friends and family back home and I love my life there. But it never felt complete. The middle east has EXACTLY what I have been missing. I feel like I have really found myself here.
Sometimes, I feel it is the culture I should have been born into. Yes, there are plenty good and bad and for the most part, I want to embrace it all. I have felt more at home here than I have anywhere else. It feels SO RIGHT to be here.

Which is why I can't be the person who says I'll come back and never does. This can't be a short chapter in my life that ends when I go back to the states. I want this to be a part of me forever. The middle east is my passion. It won't end here.

This has made me think so much about my future plans. What do I want to do with my life? I have one more year of school before I graduate. Do I want to continue my education? I've been staying up each night for at least an hour just thinking about all of this. What. Do. I. Want. To. Do?

Well, at this point I really like the idea of doing a Middle Eastern Studies graduate program. The only downside is having to learn additional Arabic---but I guess thats more of me wanting to be lazy and not really a downside :) Arabic is SO HARD! Preferably I want to stay on the west coast but I'm somewhat limited in choices. I'm also considering a program abroad. The American University in Cairo has a program that looks pretty interesting but I'm not a big fan of wanting to live in Cairo :)
What do I want to do with this degree? I really don't know. Maybe teach? Maybe work with an organization? I'm not sure yet. But every step brings me closer to something that I want to do for the rest of my life.


Part of me wants to move back to the West Bank after I graduate. I really found a home in Bethlehem. The people there are amazing. The atmosphere is amazing. They really draw me in. I could really see myself living there for a few years working and volunteering.

I can't imagine never coming back here. SOMETHING needs to happen that brings me back.


Funny how a year and half ago I had no clue that this would be my life right now. Funny how two years ago I never would have thought that I would ACTUALLY study abroad. Then again, I was the same girl who didn't want to go to college :) Amazing how life works out!

Jordan has been an amazing experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. My only regret is that there will never be a way to fully share the experience with those I love. I wish they could see it through my eyes. I can only give them a taste of it.

Ugh! I have such conflicting emotions right now!
What do you do when you find out how much your maid hates living here? What do you do when you see a before and after picture and you realize shes lost a lot of weight since shes been here? What do you do when you see someone treated like furniture when you know they are a living, breathing, human being too?

My host family is pretty nice. To me at least. My host sister is amazing. The host dad is quiet. The host mom cooks me amazing food. Yet how could they treat someone who LIVES with them the way they do their maid?

I had an amazing conversation with my maid today. Yes, two people who DO NOT speak the same language at all had a conversation! Granted, it was with the aid of paper and a combination of broken English and Arabic. Really, it was amazing and it made me so happy that I hugged her (probably crossed a cultural boundary somewhere...oh well).


I feel guilty for enjoying anything here.
My host mom gave me amazing strawberries that were probably the freshest and sweetest strawberries I have ever eaten. I came in and told her how amazing they were and took my dish to the kitchen. There, sitting on the counter for my maid were three shriveled, half rotten strawberries. I practically wanted to cry then and there.


Whats wrong with people?

Ok so theres a nice little story behind this photo:

While I was walking to class, I spotted a very familiar looking combination of colors. I looked a little closer and saw that it was a Huskies shirt----After a few seconds of debating I ran the guy down and asked if he went to the University of Washington. He bashfully said no and that he bought it in Abdali on Friday. So there you have it. Wheres your husky pride? In a used clothes stall in a middle eastern country. GO COUGS!

(For those that don't know, my school has a huge rivalry with UW which is also my sisters University)

Where to even begin. This last week has been packed full with so many different emotions and experiences, its hard for me to truly know how I actually feel about all of it.
This past week, from Saturday to Saturday I traveled with some friends around Israel/Palestine for our spring break. I knew some things going into it, but even so, nothing really prepares you for it until you actually experience it (kind of like my trip to Jordan, right?). My experience had many good points and some bad ones as well.


Lets start with day one.
It got off to a rough start because some of the other girls we were going to the border with were late. Four of us (six of us were going to the border together) had spent the night together and one of the girls landlords offered to give us a ride to the Abdali bus station where we needed to depart from. We were going to meet the other two there. We had already bought ourselves bus tickets the previous day and were set (or so we thought). We leave the apartment about 6:20am with the understanding that we needed to be at the bus station at 6:30am (by now, my nerves were a little on edge). The nice landlord crammed us into his car, along with his dog, and we drove to the bus station. We get there, and immediately I realized this was NOT the Abdali bus station. He assured us it was and we got out of the car at exactly 6:30. A bunch of taxi drivers ushered us onto the only bus there speaking rapidly to us in Arabic. Before we know it, we're somehow on a bus (NOT the bus company we were supposed to be taking). We try to tell the bus driver this by showing him our bus tickets and he waved his hand at us saying "Ok ok, sit down". I don't even know if I can describe the confusion we were all feeling at this point. The bus started driving away, giving us no other option but to sit down and enjoy the ride and pray to God the bus took us to the border. I had to call and inform the other two girls of the situation (they were at the CORRECT bus station). All in all, we made it to the border although we had to pay for an extra bus trip (just because the driver waves you on after you show him your bus ticket for another bus company apparently means you still have to pay for the ticket). None of this matters. We made it to the border. 'Nuff said.
The King-Hussein/Allenby land bridge is something else. We were all expecting some huge man-made structure bridging the two countries together. We were sadly disappointed to see a tiny little concrete bridge that took all of 5 seconds to cross. The experience wasn't anything unusual---until we got to the Israeli side. The first thing that struck me was how young everyone was. The border officials were mainly young women and a few men that looked bored and cranky. The only time they were nice to any of us was when (out of 5 girls) I was the only one to ask that my passport be stamped. A brief smile by the border official was really the only pleasent experience we had with any of the officials. Four of us made it to the other side. We waited patiently for the other two to come through. One hour---two hours----three hours----no sign of them. Finally we started trying to ask someone if they had any information. NO ONE was helpful. NO ONE. We asked two passing young girls (officials) if they could give us any information. "Uuuuuh.....no. We don't know" and they left. A few seconds later they walk back and address my friend "Um, could we like, take a picture of you? You look just like our friend!". They sounded like a bunch of junior high girls. We looked at each other puzzled and said ok. They took it, giggled, and walked away. I could not believe the level of unprofessionalism that I saw (a common theme through out our trip). FINALLY, our friends arrived. One of them is an Iranian Muslim and OF COURSE this was the reason for their delay. She had been detained for three hours and questioned. Needless to say, we were happy to leave there and continue our spring break.

This is where our groups seperated. We traveled on a bus to Jerusalem but broke off once we got there, leaving just three in my group to travel together. We walked around the old city for awhile and made our way to our hostel which we had to wait to check into until after dark because we arrived on Shabbat. The next day we explored more of the old city and hit up the major holy sites including the church of the holy seplucher, the wailing wall, and the dome of the rock. This was western easter and there were lots of people there crowding the narrow streets. We enjoyed our time despite a few incidents of being turned away because our friend was Muslim and another time because I was questioned and asked to show my passport along with my other friend. Mind you, not ONCE during our ENTIRE trip was our blonde haired friend questioned. My other friend and I both look Arab (even though we aren't) and constantly ran into problems because of it. I guess this is shocking to me only because I've never had to deal with any of that back in the states.

The next day we made our way to Tel Aviv where we walked around, swam in the mediteranean, and laid out on the beach. We met a German and a Canadian girl that we went out to dinner with. Tel Aviv was kind of our "relaxing, do nothing" city for the trip. After two days there, we went to Nazareth and enjoyed the cozy hostel that we stayed at and walked around the city, eating fresh baked bread and drinking tea. The next day we hoped on a bus to Tiberias were we stayed for a grand total of 30 minutes, long enough to snap some shots with the Sea of Galilee. We hoped another bus to Haifa where we went to the stunning Baha'i gardens. After a few hours there we hoped another bus down the coast back to Tel Aviv where we spent the night. Next morning we bused back to Jerusalem where we dropped our stuff off at our hostel within the old city and took a bus to Bethlehem. One of the most intense experiences that we had was seeing the wall that separates the West Bank from Jerusalem. Immediately, the Berlin wall came to mind. Then a prison. I had no idea anything like it even still existed. This is the 21st century. How can something like this still be tolerated? Had I been allowed to, I would have taken pictures to show how truly evil this structure is. We planned on spending the day with one of my travel companions friends family. She knows him back at her school and he wanted her to contact his family in Bethlehem and spend some time with them. We were expecting a short visit with maybe some tea. We got WAY more than we expected (one more reason why I love Arab hospitality). This guys cousin, who I will call "B" met us at his house. He invited us in to meet his family and we sat around talking with them for awhile while they offered us first tea, cookies, fruit, then coffee. B showed us around the property and his families shops, explaining some of the things he's experienced, including showing us where bombs during the last intifada fell near his house. He took us back to his house where we watched The Incredibles (in arabic :D) with his family and his mom made us an amazing meal. They wanted us to stay there overnight and preferably a few days longer. We told them that we couldn't because we had already paid for our hostel and had to get back for class. B then took us out and showed us around the old city of Bethlehem including the Church of the Nativity where Jesus was supposed to have been born. After the tour he helped us get a taxi back to the wall and we thanked him for his hospitality. Where do you see hospitality like that? I certaintly haven't experienced it much in my life and it was a very welcoming experience (definitely the best part of the entire trip).

I was actually kind of sad to have to go back to Jerusalem although this didnt last long when I realized what an amazing view we had from our hostel of the old city. I have an amazing recording of the evening call to prayer from the top of our hostel. Church bells were ringing throughout most of the night because Eastern easter was the next day.

Next morning we got up early and made it through the border without any problems.
It feels strange to be back especially knowing that at any given time, I was only a few hours away from Amman. All of it is SO close, yet so different. I felt like I was in a completely different world in Israel.
I'm glad I went and saw some of the things I did, but I will die happily if I never have to experience some of the hostility and discrimination that we experienced while there.
Really, this entry isn't anything but a quick summary of what happened. I think it would take far too long to actually write down in good enough detail the actual feelings I felt and some of the more specific things I saw. Guess you all will just have to ask me someday!

So I feel it is important to devote at least one entire entry to the outstanding food that I have been blessed with having here. I expected to find food here that I love and to enjoy home cooked meals. I don't think anything would have prepared me for what I've actually been experiencing though. My taste buds are having the time of their life right now.

First, let it be said that I was told my host mom would be an amazing cook. That seems to be a fairly common title here though. Everyone says their moms cook amazing food. Maybe its true. I feel confident in saying that my host mom cooks the BEST food :) Every meal looks and tastes like something I would be paying $20-50 a plate. Her food is FANTASTIC. Whether its something she whipped up in 5 minutes or took all day to cook, it all tastes amazing. I bet you're all interested in what she actually cooks then. Well here's just a small glimpse...

For breakfast I'm usually on my on. But if my host mom wakes up early, she'll come out and make me a scrumptious breakfast. It usually consists of at least some vegetables. Yes, vegetables are an important part of breakfast here. It can be something like a sliced up tomato with some salt or (like today) a crisp green hot pepper. She makes these homemade cheese curds (at least I think thats what they are...). They sit in a jar of olive oil in the refrigerator and she'll spoon them out onto a plate with some of the oil. This is then eaten with bread (they use bread for a LOT of food here----usually as a scoop) and sometimes zatar. Zatar consists of dried thyme, oregano, marjoram, salt, and toasted sesame seeds. She usually tries to give me something sweet for breakfast, my favorite being dried figs that have been soaking in a sugary syrup that she makes. The end result is a plump juicy fig that tastes a little like heaven. Dates are often included in this breakfast as well. And of course, tea with lots of sugar is a morning MUST.

Lunch and dinner are usually very similar to one another, the difference being that lunch is larger and has a lot more fresh vegetables. I have come to love and crave a simple salad of sliced tomatos and cucumbers with either a little bit of lemon juice, olive oil, or salt. Theres no way of generalizing the types of food we eat for lunch. One of the MANY things I love about my host moms food is the variety she can cook. I've had beef stroganoff (on rice), salmon soup, manseff, pasta, BBQ, and the list goes on. Today, I had roast chicken with potatoes, roasted tomatoes and onions, and a large tomato/pepper salad.

And don't even get me started on dessert. Luckily she hasn't made as many sweet things (good for my taste buds, BAD for my body :D). She makes these delicious little dough balls that she deep frys and sticks in a sugary syrup sauce. These are to DIE for when they are fresh and warm still. She also makes a honey cake which is literally dripping in the sweet syrup. My least favorite of any food she makes (only because of personal tastes) is a sweet milk/rice pudding that she makes. Its good but I'm not a fan of milk.


I'm not really sure what I'm going to do when I come back home. I don't think anything can really compare to the food my host mom makes. The closest craving I've had for food back home is peanut butter, and really---I would gladly give it up forever if I could eat like this all the time.

It will however be nice to get away from only in the sense that I won't want to eat as much :) My host mom likes to serve LARGE portions, no matter how much you ask her not to give you so much. So if I'm not in there before things actually get served, I'm out of luck and have to down a huge plate full (not that I entirely mind).

Oh, Uurdon. Why do you have to be so wonderful ?

Today, we were talking about the Islamic perspective on the Palestinian/Israeli conflict. How does Islam view the conflict of the Palestinians? To them, Israel is occupying the "native lands" of the Palestinians. Is this true? In 1948 alone, over 750,000 Palestinians fled from their homes during the war that ensued between Israel and Arab countries once the British left. After the war, they weren't allowed to return to their homes, thus becoming refugees in other countries. Fast forward to the present and there are now over 4 million Palestinian refugees, including the descendants of those that originally left Palestine. I think it is really easy for us to forget what it actually means to be a "refugee". These are people who fled their lands out of fear. And now they aren't being allowed back to the very homes they left.


Can you imagine what that would be like? Take your home now. What if you had to leave or were forced to leave, for fear of your life? What if you wanted to return but weren't allowed to? Would you accept that? Or would you fight for the right to return to your land? I know I would fight for it.

The Islamic perspective of the Palestinians plight, is that they have the right to resist. They have the right to defend their dignity. Is that really just an Islamic perspective? Or is that all of ours? This makes me think of something a little more familiar to Americans...
What about the Native Americans? Was that right what we did to them? We forcefully took their lands from them for one reason or another and in return gave them next to nothing. Just because this was many years ago, doesn't make it right. So what about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict?

I have heard the religious argument that it is Gods chosen land for the Jewish people. This may be so, from a religious perspective. But even as a Christian, is it right to let something happen that is wrong simply because they are Gods "chosen people"?

I have heard the religious argument that suicide bombers have the right to blow themselves up and become martyrs as long as they are only targeting military personnel (it is considered un-Islamic to target and harm either physically or mentally a civilian).

This kind of reasoning has always boggled my mind. How can a God of love approve of decisions that so obviously hurt so many people? I don't buy it.
My God gave me free will. And with my free will, I choose to try and prevent the abuse of people, whether they are God's chosen people or not.


This doesn't mean I believe that Palestinians should lob rockets at Israelis or that Israelis should have to completely leave Palestine.

One thing I am really tired of is people that somehow can't see what is really happening to the Palestinians. Regardless of how the Palestinians are handling the situation, they are STILL in a very tough position. They want their land back. Just like the Native Americans. The difference being, now they have modern weapons to help them achieve this goal. Can we blame them for trying? Can we blame them, especially if we are the ones that helped put them in the current position they are in?


Just some food for thought.